This past weekend, I watched 4 minutes of a college basketball game.
I know because it was the start of a game on a Saturday morning. I turned it off as soon as it reached its first TV timeout.
I watched some horse racing, I watched an inning of a spring training baseball game, I watched highlights of a UFC fight.
I caught up on a couple episodes of a show I'm attempting to watch on HBO called Big Little Lies.... or is it Little Big Lies? I can't recall.
The point is, this is where we're at right now.
It's the doldrums of the season.
With no meaningful baseball for about three more weeks, we've been asking ourselves to make due with a wide variety of things that most sports fans possess only a casual interest in following.
Let's be truthful, before the brackets come out this weekend, you will neither have never heard of nor know a single thing about Florida Gulf Coast Academy, other than it's in probably in Florida (it is) and it's probably located on the Gulf Coast of the state (meh, close enough).
So let's do a quick channel surf for all the other options.
Spring training baseball, as much as I love the sport itself, is just an exhibition. I can't defend watching preseason anything, so it would be disingenuous of me to tell people that just because it's my favorite sport, that it's any different watching a meaningless split-squad tussle between the Mets and White Sox as it would be to watch third-stringers battle for that last roster spot in a Browns vs. Titans epic in August.
Golf, we're not interested in until we hear the piano chime up before Augusta.
The NBA. Come on, really? Is there some sort of mystery to this regular season that we don't already know who's winding up in the conference finals? Call me late next month.
NASCAR. So with the Daytona 500 over with, we can really just avoid this for.... 3, 4 months now, right?
The NHL. I thought about it. I got nothing.
Horse racing. Again, one of my favorite sports. But unless you're heavily invested (and by invested, I mean you've got a bet on a horse), you're probably not the slightest bit interested.
And if anyone calls in, texts in or attempts to discuss what new prospect was on display at the NFL combines this past weekend, please be prepared to be met with a flurry of insults on the other end of the phone.
But... there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The NCAA tournament gets underway next week. You can sharpen your pencils, print out your brackets and pretend to know something about East Tennessee State.
From there, the memorable tune of the Masters. Then, it's opening day of the MLB season, and from there, a short commitment to the NBA and NHL playoffs before sweet relief finally arrives.
The NFL Draft.
I know this is a rough time for many of you.
You're being tested beyond your means.
The idle time right now has many of you running errands, cleaning the house, actually having to pay attention to your significant other.
But those restless days are soon to come to an end.
Bear with us, sports fans.