Let's Hear It For The Agents

Kirk Cousins lingering 63

Kirk Cousins lingering 63

Sure, it would be real easy to sit here and glom over the details of big-money contracts for guys like Kirk Cousins, Case Keenum and... yes, I'm gonna throw his name into the mix, Sam Bradford.

But let's forget a moment how absurd your reactionary argument is that no one is worth $84 million over the course of the next three years.

The argument makes for good conversational campfire rhetoric, but it speaks to an illogical idea that you have any idea how big businesses actually operate.

But that's fine, keep that conversation rolling. I want to take a moment for myself here and celebrate the real winners of these monumental deals.

Mike McCartney is the agent representing quarterback Kirk Cousins. McCartney also represents other athletes, and reportedly is pretty good at his job.

News will likely come down later today or at some point this week that Cousins is going to sign a contract with the Minnesota Vikings.

The terms of this contract -- reportedly -- are for three years at a tune of $28 million a year.

For those who want some mathematical breakdowns, here you go:

$2.33 million a month
$538,461 a week
$1.3 million for each TD pass Cousins threw last season
$6,840 for each yard Cousins passed for last season
$1.07 million for each game Cousins has won in his entire career

Now, that sounds like a lot of money.

Times three.

But that's what the market bears. Teams make money based on performance in the stands, with sponsors, corporate partnerships, television rights, etc. The Redskins, who were already paying Cousins lots of money the last few seasons, decided to not do that once again, and instead have chosen to go "another direction", which is always one of my most favorite phrases.

McCartney, who has been Cousins' agent for some time, helped broker this deal between the QB and the Vikings. So let's take a moment to praise McCartney on being able to sell this bag of tricks to the front office of the Vikings.

Cousins has a less-than 50 percent win total. He's thrown for more than half as many interceptions as he has touchdowns, and he's never won a single postseason game.

Again, I hear you shouting, "no one is worth that kind of money..." and again, I remind you, you're doing this wrong. 

But hold it, we're not done with the absurd. 

Not even close.

Drew Brees and his agent Tom Condon have reportedly agreed to terms with the New Orleans Saints on a two-year, $50-million deal with $27 million guaranteed, according to multiple media reports. 

But Condon's best magic trick was in negotiating a deal between Sam Bradford and the Arizona Cardinals. Bradford is expected to sign a deal this week, reportedly with the Cardinals. 

Bradford is a highly decorated quarterback, worth a considerable amount of money once you put away his propensity for being able to find the injured reserve list easier than a wide open receiver.

Bradford's deal -- once it goes official -- could be worth anywhere from $15-20 million a year. There are a ton of incentives and team options on the contract and there's also protection for the team in case Bradford gets injured, which based on current models is as likely to happen as the sunrise.

According to a report on SB Nation.com, Bradford had his ACL repaired in the same knee twice. That’s the knee that sidelined Bradford for most of last season. There was no structural damage, but Bradford did require surgery to clean up the knee. In theory, this is a cost-effective signing that gives the Cardinals a quality veteran starter. But Bradford’s health is the biggest question.

Kind of like buying a used car. You know there's going to be some blemishes, some diminished return on your investment, but you need a reliable ride. A mode of transportation.

Don't be mad at the athlete for his inflated value. Don't be mad at the business which puts you -- the consumer -- in a position where you know you're overspending.

This is the price of doing business in a market-based society. And the agents representing these athletes are no different than the used car salesman at the corner lot. 

But he's got a job to do as well. A family to feed, a mortgage he's got to pay down, etc.

Before I hear again, "no one is worth that kind of money" one more time, think about the words you're about to say and remind yourself of them before you plunk down $100 for the next jersey you're about to buy or the next monthly payment on that NFL Sunday Ticket package. 

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