"This is a simple game. You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball."
Major League Baseball's 2018 season gets started tomorrow. I won't be on the air to celebrate the occasion or to commemorate the moment. I am taking a couple much needed vacation days through the end of the weekend.
But you can be assured of one thing. At 11am local time tomorrow, I will be watching Major League Baseball's first pitch of the season.
Baseball is under siege. From the likes of millennials who want to quicken the game with pitch clocks and situational extra inning routines. The game is also under attack from so-called fans, who argue that the game takes too long. The game is under scrutiny from outsiders who want to suggest that the game is longer our national pastime.
I'm a snob about a lot of things. I'm an intellectual person who loathes the idea that it's acceptable or socially permissible to be acutely unaware of the day's events.
I detest the notion that there's a large segment of society which prefers to get its news from Twitter or Facebook. I cringe when I hear people tell me about a so-called news story which has absolutely no basis in fact, much less even the remotest appearance of any ethical reporting or journalistic style.
If there's really a segment of people out there who prefer to be left in the dark, or only choose to be spoon-fed what trolls want you to see and hear and ingest, then I'm at the point where I'm just going to have to let a lot of those people slip into the ether.
I have neither the time nor the patience to adequately pull off a rescue mission. You're simply on your own.
I'm a snob about a lot of things (forgive me for repeating myself, but the segue works), and that includes baseball.
Don't tell me the game needs changing. Don't protest to me about the length of time it takes to complete a game, or a season for that matter.
Don't tell me about the suffering you go through in watching a game on television that you find boring or unappealing. Don't give me your so-called solutions on ways to make the game more palatable for a group of individuals whose most important decision may as well be whether to post a selfie on Instagram or Snapchat.
I won't intrude on your desire to remain oblivious. I'm willing to allow you the freedom to be intellectually inferior. Just leave my baseball alone.
And for those brave souls who want to wander into the forest, who want to enjoy the greatest sport of them all, who want to soak in some summer sun and watch the battle between a pitcher who throws mind-numbing curve balls and exploding sliders and a batter standing 60 feet, 6 inches away from him, armed with only a carved out piece of lumber, I'm more than happy to entertain you.
Just not tomorrow. This one I'm gonna enjoy on my own.
It's (almost) Time for Dodger Baseball!