The release of the NCAA Men's Tournament bracket is a fun day in sports. It's oftentimes filled with some level of tension, followed by the obligatory live video feeds of some fringe school you've never heard of before located in a part of the country you'll never visit that got into the tournament because they won a championship in a conference you didn't even know existed.
And yet somehow, that school, that team, that conference champion is going to make it to the Final Four.
With no disrespect intended to that one school from Michigan (or was it Illinois?) with the really sweet nun (I've already forgotten the school name, its mascot, all of it), events like the unfurling of a tournament bracket are a lot of hype with very little substance.
But what follows is even more extreme and wonderfully without rational explanation.
Three hours (yes, that's right, THREE F@&*!NG HOURS) of breaking down the bracket. From start to finish, including that Wednesday play-in game featuring the mid-level regional tournament winner vs. unknown conference runner-up with an RPI (don't pretend you know what that really means) that's better than the RPI from a 5th place team in a conference you've actually heard of before.
It's fascinating stuff. Almost as fascinating as watching me (with no training whatsoever) perform a surgical procedure on a deceased house pet.
The 2018 NFL schedules are here!
Yesterday, major sports networks devoted hours of airtime to announce week-by-week, team-by-team and nationally televised primetime schedules. They did so, not only to promote their own individual broadcast games, but also to give the NFL some added promotional time.
The same NFL that you're not watching. That no one is watching. The same NFL you abandoned some time ago for some silly reason that doesn't matter anymore because..... SCHEDULES!!!!
Our friend and NFL insider Ryan Van Bibber, who joins us frequently on the show, wrote this about the nationally televised release of the schedule in a piece this week at SB Nation.
Maybe this spectacular event will push you over the edge to become a subscriber. Why? Because there’s unique digital content too!! That includes:
- Analysis!
- Toughest schedules!
- The top 18 games of the season!
- The nine BEST primetime games!
- AND SO MUCH MORE!
How many of those “best” games will actually be good ones by the time shifting rosters and unavoidable injuries have decimated the teams? Who knows. WHO CARES! They’re the best games right now ... in April ... four months before the season starts.
And that is precisely what you got last night, complete with carefully placed network promos for upcoming games, actual games with real athleticism and real sports, as opposed to three guys in suits trying to convince you why a game which will be played in November (7 months from now!!) can be dissected and discussed with some degree of informed opinion.
For the record, and before you ask me again, yes, I've looked at a couple team schedules. Namely the Cowboys and the Broncos (the latter because our station airs the games, the former because I needed a chuckle).
Based on nothing more than what I know about those teams right now -- no draft picks, no season-changing injuries, no dramatic turn of events, no players going off on a rage-filled incident at a strip club where they never should have been in the first place -- I've carefully (OK, it took 3 minutes) come up with what I believe are best-case scenarios for both teams.
Broncos 9-7.
Cowboys 7-9.
You may now return to watching sports. That's the thing you all said you'd be turning to in favor of that unpatriotic, anti-American, ego-driven NFL you all claimed to have little to no viewing interest.