What started on this program earlier this summer has now turned into a routine. In the beginning, it seemed like they were more sports oriented, and now, some of you are actually looking to me for real dating advice. God help us all.
That said, it’s time for another edition of Crazy Good Advice.
Dear Steve,
This year I turned 40 and I've never felt better. Call it what you will, mid life-crisis maybe, but I have spent many hours re-evaluating my life. To be honest, I can't complain about anything. I have been in a solid marriage for 10 years, we have an amazing child, and my job, my house, my fitness, finances, etc. are all where they should be. I have the recipe to be extremely happy and it all looks great on paper.
The problem is that I'm not happy and feel I followed the path in life that I should have taken in my head, but didn't want to in my heart. I guess you can say I settled for the sake of being secure in life at the cost of my happiness. Don't get me wrong, I could have ended up with someone I was wildly attracted to who treated me like garbage and I wouldn't have had the fortunate life I have now. The truth is my husband has amazing qualities, but he doesn't "do it" for me. I've always loved him, but I've never been in love.
Some may say that's enough for a good life, but I've been craving to be in love for so long. Fast forward to today. I had innocently re-connected with a past hookup from my 20s via Facebook. As all flirtations go, it's exciting and feels good to be desired. But this meeting has turned into daily messages of affirmation and weekly secret meetings. For me, it's developed into something more. I realize under these circumstances, it's impossible to really know each other and maybe it's all an illusion, but he claims he feels the same and doesn't want it to end.
He's been in a long, unfulfilling relationship (not married, no kids) as well, so I think we both like the escape from our situations. Maybe I'm being naive. He could be feeding me what I want to hear, but something in my gut tells me this is genuine, and I fantasize if it's possible our lives could intertwine. It's been a few months and we spoke of taking a step physically, which I want, but it's a huge decision. I can't say I'd leave my husband and life for this person yet, but this can only go on for so long. I don't want to let my kid or my family down – they'd be absolutely devastated. Do I live out my privileged live and forgo my happiness for the sake of my child and family? Please help wake me up!
Signed,
– Trying To Find Happiness
Click here for my reply, as heard this morning on FIRST SPORTS!