Crazy Good Advice -- Tuesday, April 16

Dear Steve,

I'm a divorced single parent. It was a very cliché sort of story (husband leaves wife and kids for younger woman), but shockingly painful. I didn't date for several years; I suddenly had to become mother, father, caretaker and breadwinner for my children. And I did it somehow, quite successfully. I have a good career, and my children are doing really well. I spend all my energy on the children and my job. Everyone wanted me to start dating again, said it was "time." Time is probably the thing I have least of, but I decided to give it a shot.

I started dating "Joe" a couple of years ago. We've taken it very slowly, and he is an amazing guy – generous, kind, and patient. But I'm not in love with him. I want to be, but I feel like I can't ever really "love" again. As if that part of me is just irreparably broken. I don't think I'd love anyone else either, so it's not a case of not finding the right guy. I know I trust him, but that's as far as I seem to be able to go. I care for him enough that I want more for him. He deserves someone who can love as much as he does in return.

He says he will always be there for me, and will take things as quickly or slowly as I need. But he never seems to care about his own needs. I care about his needs more than he seems to. It feels selfish to hold onto him like this. I know I would miss him if we broke up, but I feel like he would be better off with someone whole. I know he would never break up with me. It would have to be me. Should I let him go?

– Loveless

Click the link here for my reply, which aired this morning on FIRST SPORTS!


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