Crazy Good Advice -- Tuesday, April 30

Dear Steve,

I have what most outside people would consider a perfect relationship. Going on 30 years together, through thick and thin, with great and supportive friends and family – at least it appears so! My husband and I entered retirement and now the fabric is falling apart. I've now realized that the bulk of effort, energy, love, finances, and the day-to-day "little things" all fell on my shoulders. Every day for 30 years.

Now, I want to retire – really retire. I made the finances happen, taking care of the details and the heavy lifting. Now I'm more unhappy than I've ever been. Because here we are, at the last and supposedly best times of our lives, and I am totally isolated and alone. My immediate family has passed on. My friends favor my husband due to his health issues, which eventually will be terminal. The poor thing. Well, who gave up 28 years to accommodate finding and seeing the best doctors in the world? Who jeopardized career aspirations over the years to be there during emergency medical issues? Who made sure everyone else was taken care of before dealing with her own breast cancer?

The sadness is paralyzing. This is no way to spend the last, best years of a life lived working hard every day since I was 14. What was the point of the last 60 years?

– Looking back

Click the link here for my thoughts on this week's edition of Crazy Good Advice!


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