Dear Steve,
My ex and I dated for four and a half years and were engaged for a time. We had the entire wedding planned, and about five months out from the wedding, I told him I wasn't sure about getting married because I felt we had some things to work out before we said "I do." He wanted to break up because he felt blindsided, and I wanted to work it out because I loved him.
Two months later, he messaged a girl from his work late night from my Facebook page. He didn’t realize that I was logged into his computer. We broke up and he moved out. Two or three weeks go by and we causally start hooking up. Terrible choice, I know. I was confused and thought I still loved him and was feeling vulnerable. We hooked up on and off for about a year before he got into a serious relationship. A couple of years have gone by and he just got out of said relationship. We started causally catching up and without intending to, hung out and hooked up again.
I don't have feelings for him, but I like the attention. I haven't been able to find someone new since our breakup so I was feeling a little needy. He wants to hook up again, but I'm torn. I'm lonely and could definitely use the affection and attention, but ultimately I know that affection is only temporary and mostly for hookup purposes only. I got a little tipsy the other night and sent him some nudes, which I know was a bad idea but it felt sexy and nice to turn someone on. How can I be strong to tell him no, and in a nice, respectful way? Or should I just say "whatever" and have fun?
– Attention