Dear Steve,
I just turned 35 and I'm a straight man who is also a virgin. I'm relatively religious, and as a result have always believed in waiting to have sex until you are married. I can understand why different people have different opinions on sex before marriage, but I've always thought that at least for myself, that is what I would do.
As I've gotten older, though, I'm starting to doubt that and wonder if it's actually holding me back in my relationships. I'm never sure when and if to mention that I don't believe in sex before marriage. I'm also wondering if it will scare off potential relationships, or maybe I should just bite the bullet and go for it, because it's not as if I'm not interested in having sex. I'm also very interested in getting married and having kids.
I've thought I'd try to meet people through church, but all the churches are full of senior citizens and married couples, not exactly fertile hunting grounds. So, the question is. If I decide to continue not having sex before marriage, at what point should I disclose this to a current partner? Or do you feel I'm sabotaging potential relationships/marriage by not agreeing to sex before marriage, and that I should just do it despite my doubts?
Signed,
- Sick of Waiting